Reflections of a Boy

So quiet and guarded
later opening only to his friend
held so loosely in his hands
six strings telling more
than ever could be guessed.

So quiet and guarded
yet he showed up
looking for something,
anything
to give him clue
that there was more than…
this.

Stepping into his home
it was easy to tell
there was so much unspoken
trying to yell…
it was real, too real
felt on the skin
as mother approached
to greet this one who just may…
be able to help.

He sat there
next to his brother
who would look not further
then eyes at the floor.

The only sound was that of door
calling to exit
now, if ever
but no
that wasn’t the way
it was time to stand
in front of him
no need of his glance
just to take the stance
welcoming him home
to a heart full of love,
an ear that yearns to hear
his beautiful story
that keeps him alone
and guarded with fear.

Another day, in a group of many
silence sat still with him.
With others of his age close at his side
his eyes moved endlessly
any target denied.

When asked directly
few words found pathway
around long held up walls
yet hopefully given
to find he might be…
okay.

Just a couple of words
then back within.

It was later, a glance in the mirror
that I saw the one who hides
beneath the masks
of many disguise.
There he was -
a beautiful boy
with smile pushing
stiffened face aside.

Words joined in,
a chorus of beauty
he shared without question
leaning forward
eyes raised
eager for a part
of something so much greater…
than he.

What a magnificent sight
in that moment,
a light in the dimmed mirror,
happy to be out
(if only just for now)
on the  other side of fear.

~ Matt Zavadil
5/31/2011

Author’s note:
There are many moments in the mentoring of teenage boys that lift me beyond all expectation.  I am truly grateful for all of them.  They are a huge asset in growing me into the man (now the elder) that I’ve always dreamed of.

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